Kicking my reliance on the warmth of sun and a new chapter(太陽の温もりへの依存を絶つ新章)


I was in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam last week.  The air was sweet and alluring, and the culture seemed interesting The only reason I did not choose that country to start afresh was because of its warm climate.  I had that for too long in ‘the city of sunshine’ and while it helped me, it also delayed me from confronting my real issues. 

Everyone is dealt harsh cards by the fate at some point and we are meant to learn from the pain.  Sure, some of my problems were beyond my power to fix it, but if that was so, I should have cut the loss and moved on.  Why didn’t I do it?  It was the warmth of the sun.  It picked my mood up and I was able to bear the situation, not realizing none of it owed to my strength.  I was long puzzled that why Australians, known for smile and kindness, would suddenly have either lonely or dark shadow cast over their eyes.  Maybe they have, like I did, mistaken the sun’s uplifting effect to be their own strength.  You can go through the day feeling all right, only to realize at night, when alone, that your problems are still there, undealt and unsolved.  It would take a sheer mind power to tackle one’s problems while pushing back the temptation of relaxing and embracing warm sun.  That may be why when some Australians make it big on the world stage, they truly excel.  

Now back to the ordinary ‘me’ who had grown reliant on the warm sunshine.  I realized I had slowed in growing as a person.  In order to make up for the lost time I must, without delay, move myself to a darker and colder place where I would have to rely on my own inner strength to stay sane.  Where to?  Russia and Scandinavia are indeed cold and dark during the winter, but the language barrier is too steep in Russia.  Scandinavians speak English, but again too steep is the living cost there.  So here I reveal the sight which is 5 minutes-walk from my new apartment. h If you do not recognize it, how about this one which is further 5 minutes away?  Notre DameOr this, another 10 minutes away?  LouvreYes, I am in Paris.  In sequence, Hôtel de Ville, Notre Dame and the Louvre.  From ‘the city of sunshine’ to ‘the city of light.’  From 30 degrees tropical heat to 3 degrees cold.  

The rumour has it that the French are private people, bordering on indifference.  Even that is so, it means that the French do not feign friendliness to conceal their ulterior motives.  I have a high regard for the people who pushed back the cold and darkness to build ‘the city of light’ through enlightenment .  On the morning I landed in Paris it was dark and raining, just the way I wanted it to be.  3 degrees cold?  Bring it on.  I shall strive to glow, not like a star, but a tiny firefly, and when I have achieved that, I might then have become a useful person to others.  

Of course, no place is perfect.  I was giddy to have come to live in Marais, the artists’ town, but for not for long.  In my smugness I had only painters and graphic artists in mind.  From the day one, the pianist right above my unit has been blasting her piano for as long as 4 hours to 6 hours every day at a stretch.  I read on her unapologetic face that it was her artist privileges.  Oh, well.  Life is not done giving me challenge.  I squeezed my ear plugs into my ears.  Back to reality.

Copyright 2009 to 2014 by Mirror Miroir/THE THIRD RED APPLE All Rights Reserved.


誰しも躓き、その痛みから学ぶものです。私が抱えた事情は自分ひとりでは解決できるものではありませんでしたが、それなら早期にロスカットして次に進む勇気を持つべきでした。だのに何故そうしなかったのか?溢れる太陽の陽射しでした。沈んだ気分も太陽にあたっているうちに軽くなり日常を繰り返す事ができたのです、自分の力で乗り越えたわけではないのに。最近まで不思議だったのは「明るい笑顔と親切」がドレードマークのオーストラリア人が突如見せる暗い眼。寂しさの人もあれば黒い性根の人もいました。きっと私のように太陽の明るさを自分の明るさだと勘違いしてきたのかもしれません。 そして問題は解決されないまま心の闇が広がるのです。

私自身最近成長が停滞していたと気づき、急ぎ太陽の陽射しがない寒い場所に移り自力で気をしゃんと持てるようにならねばなりませんでした。では何処へ?ロシアと北欧の冬は暗くて寒いですがロシア語はチンプラカンプラだし北欧は生活費が高すぎて手がでません。そこで選んだ新居から徒歩10分にある建物がこれです。OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA更に15分歩けばこれがあります。arc de triumph






2 thoughts on “Kicking my reliance on the warmth of sun and a new chapter(太陽の温もりへの依存を絶つ新章)

  1. Welcome to Europe! 一気に近くなりましたね。時差もなくなりました。そっかそっかパリか。大都会じゃないですか!Mirror さんのフランス人観察日記、楽しみにしています。落ち着いて気が向いたら、フランクフルトに遊びに来て下さいね。アスカとセナと(オプション-アド)市内観光でもしましょ。

    • お早うございます。渡仏して7日目にして寝坊してしまいました。昨夜9時頃眠気に襲われ目覚めたのは朝の9時前。12時間ぶっ通しで休んだのは久しぶりです。いつかアーたんとセナたんにお会いしたいと思っていましたがご迷惑かけないように致します。

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